Kolm 3 kolm. Keerasime kella!!!!

Haile-Joseph Goebbelselassie oleks (olnud) suhteliselt vastuoluline ja mitmekülgne propagandist-pikamaajooksja.

Liiga palju hüüumärke !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ma ei saa aru miks kella peab keerama just kell 4 öösel. Väga nõme on ärgata keset kõige magusamat uneaega ! Ja hiljem ei saa enam und, sest oled infosulus ja mõtled murelikult kas seekordne keeramine üldse õnnestus.

Intervjueerimise kuldne reegel

Intervjueerimise kuldne reegel: “Intervjueeritav inimene peab olema kuulsam/tuntum kui ajakirajnik, kes teda intervjueerib.” Ragne.

Ragne naljanurk

Tõlkisin oma lemmikud naljad inglise keelde ja jagan neid teiega:

 

John loved fishing. One day he got news about this absolutely fantastic fishing spot which was a small lake in a forest, where the fish are pretty much begging for someone to catch them.

He couldn’t wait for the weekend so he got someone to cover for him at work, took a day off, set his alarm clock for 4.00 am because the place was quite far away and finally his big day came.

After a long journey he managed to find the little lake in the forest, he set his rods up and started waiting.

He waited for the first hour, then second, then the next and then some more, and finally the hook on one of his fishing rods moved.

All excited John pulled it out of the water just to find a large faeces stuck to the hook.

He cursed badly and then noticed a local man standing behind him.

‘Would you look at that’ disappointed John said to the man – ‘So much driving, waiting and effort and for what? A piece of crap.’

The local man replied:

You know what, there’s an old legend about this lake. Before the first world war a young couple lived nearby and they were madly in love with each other. But he was drawn into the army and had to go and fight. After some time the girl got news about her lover having died at war, and her grief was so big that she couldn’t stand living alone anymore, so she came to this lake and drowned herself…

‘Unbelievable.’ – said John.

‘But it’s not the end of it you see!’ exclaimed the local – ‘As it turns out her boyfriend was alive, only badly hurt but he survived. After returning here he learnt about what has happened and so he came to this very place you sit in now, and he ended his life too!’

‘That’s one very sad and shocking story’ John replied – ‘but still, what’s with the faeces?’

‘Well I dunno, must be someone took a shite in here’

………………………………..

Two beekeepers get into conversation at a beekeeping conference.
“Ive got 5000 bees, and ten hives,” says the first. “How about you?”
“I’ve got 1 hive and 2,000,000, bees.”
“1 hive and two million bees?!?!?”
“Yeah f**k ‘em, they’re only bees.”

…………………………………………

A man goes to a grocery store. While he is there, he buys:
bread
cheese
and milk

So as he is checking out, getting ready to pay, the cashier says: “Hey, you’re single, aren’t you?”

The man is astonished. “Wow, that’s incredible. How did you know that?”

“You’re ugly.”

……………………………………

So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger.

…………………………………. 

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

……………………………………

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.

…………………………………..

A duck walks into a bar…

Animal control is promptly called, the duck is then taken to a near by park and released.

………………………………….

Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. One says ‘Oh, I’ve never come this way before.’ The other says, ‘I’m not surprised, there’s diversions on our usual route due to roadworks.’

……………………………..

Saw this coloured fella the other day with a parrot on his shoulder. i says, “where’d you get that?” and the fella says “the pet shop up the road.”

…………………………….

Knock, Knock

Who’s There?

Doctor

Doctor who?

It’s doctor Samuels, I have some unfortunate news about your son.

……………………………………

Q: What did the rug say to the carpet?

A: Nothing, neither can talk. If they could talk, hypothetically, they would probably talk about the state of our nation and how to improve things.

……………………………………..

Man 1: Knock, Knock

Man 2: Who’s there?

Man 1: It’s me Johnny.

Man 2: Oh, hey man! Come on in, and have a beer.

……………………………………..

How do you call a black man playing the piano ?

A pianist

……………………………………………

 
What’s long, hard and full of seamen ?

A Submarine

…………………………………………….

Two flies are sitting on a turd …

… they were attracted by the smell of the faeces and will use the warm environment to lay eggs.

………………………………….

What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take it for a drag.

………………………………………

Q: So you’re walking down the beach when a bicycle falls out of your pocket. How many potatoes does it take to make a pancake?
A: About a fish this color. (hold up hands in a manner that would indicate size)

……………………………….

I was walking down the street the other day when this bum comes up to me and says he hasn’t had a bite in three days.

So I stabbed him.

……………………………………..

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus are incapable of feeling fear.

…………………………………….

Ask me if I’m an orange.
Are you an orange?
No.

……………………………………

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

……………………………………….

How do you make a sausage roll ?
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Ingredients
375g/13oz bought ready-rolled puff pastry
about 2 tbsp either chutney of your choice, cranberry sauce, mustard, pickle, apple sauce, pesto, sun-dried tomato paste or red onion jam
5 good-quality thick pork sausages
1 small egg, beaten

Method
1. Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6.
2. Cut the pastry into 10 rectangles, about 7×10cm/2¾x4in, and place a small spoonful of your chosen filling into the middle of each one.
3. Cut the sausages in half, making 10 smaller sausages, and then peel away the skins. Lay the sausages on top of the filling on the pastry rectangles. Roll the pastry over the sausage, brushing the join with the beaten egg to seal. Place on a greased baking sheet, sealed-side down, and brush them with the egg to give a nice shiny glaze when cooked.
4. Cook in the oven for 20 minutes until golden and crispy, and eat as soon as they are cool enough or leave to cool completely on a wire rack.

Tip:
Try experimenting with some of the flavoured sausages available now, and spread the pastry with a complementary filling.

Ansip on tegelikult täitsa muhe

Ansip on tegelikult täitsa lahe, kahju  ainult ,et ta selle pronkskuju ära viis, aga eks see kuri mees - Jürgen Ligi – kallutas seda tegema. Näiteks peaminister ei pelga ka huumorit, mis kahtlemata näitab ta tugevust. Mõnus.

ansipi huumor  algab (22.50)

Rebane varastas Voldemar Kuslapi saapa

 

Eilne Aktuaalne Kaamera lõppes meeleoluka lõiguga rebasest, kes varastas Voldemar Kuslapi saapa.

Link : (lõigu algus 23.18)

index.php?0&popup=video&id=16733

 

Ragne

Haldusreformi varjukülg

Haldusreformi varjukülg, millest isegi Rein Sikk pole kirjutanud, on see, et ulatusliku valdade liitmise tulemusena võib tekkida Vägi vald.